CAT-A-RACT


Disclaimer: The following article tells the readers “HOW NOT TO TAKE UP CAT”. The author cannot be held responsible if the reader actually gets through CAT after trying all this.

About a few thousands will be preparing for GD/PI as I write this blog. I wanted to call this “Four Point Someone” (That’s how many times I have given CAT). Now I know ways of not taking CAT. Had I known how to take it up, I would have got through (That is but obvious!!).

The ritual of CAT starts somewhere in September with the daily papers featuring ads (Small, Medium and Large sized) of CAT learning centres. It would cost you about a fresher’s salary in an IT company to enroll in these so-called learning centres (LC). Admission to these LCs is strictly based on a CAT style test. You can score anywhere between a 0 and a 100 to gain admission!!!

Once you enroll, you are given a choice of centre. You are obviously supposed to pick the one near your house. But to hell with it, you should always pick one that is nearest to a THEATRE! Especially if you are working and take the weekend classes it helps real lot. If asked by others you can always tell them that the best guys teach in that centre and that is why you chose it.

Once it’s all set! You have almost a year. NAAH..not for CAT, But to court the best-looking girl in your class. If your class doesn’t have any (Which is generally the case) “HARD LUCK DUDE” the arms of the theatre are always open for you!

With no good-looking girls there isn’t any point attending classes. All that you have to do is some guest appearance to collect the study materials. First thing that you have to do after collecting it is tear open the seals to avoid questions on NOT touching the material. Time and again keep complaining about the quality of teaching, upcoming exams (if you are a student) or late working hours; thus explaining your absence at the classes and no motivation to study.

Before a month or two of CAT you are sure of few things.
1. All the movies that released in the last year with full details on which were a HIT and which ones FLOPPED.
2. You CANNOT get through CAT in the next 20 years with 100% RESERVATION for your CASTE.

Be the first to buy the application showing your enthusiasm. You can always, as a last resort for escaping from CAT, leave few mandatory fields blank in your CAT application so that it gets REJECTED! If you really cant bring yourselves to do that (because you have paid some 1000 odd bucks for it) then go ahead and bring your FAMILY SHAME!

On the day of the exam make sure you keep a very serious and worried face and avoid talking to anybody before the exam. You can always say, after the exam, that you were trying to relax and build concentration. Once you are done with the exam avoid meeting anybody and escape by the first train or bus to some other state for a few days. If during this process you meet somebody and they ask you how you did just tell “MY DESK WAS SHAKING. OK!!!!”